I'm sorry.

One woman in the supermarket to another:  "I haven't seen you in 50 years, not since high school. You haven't aged a bit!"

High school must have been really tough.

CNN: Trigger to change co-habitation to marriage...

Sharing a stable with Buttermilk wasn't enough?

Halloween, Reinvented?

7-Year-old:  I hate Halloween. I don't want to do it anymore.

Mom:  So no more trick-or-treating?

7-year-old: No. People should come to our house and give us candy.

Sign of the times?

 Mohegan Sun Casino is going to lay off 350 workers.

Step-by-Step Instructions of Horror

This one just stuns me with the sadness of it all.

How to Behave in a School Lockdown

"A school lock down is when students, teachers, and faculty are confined to their rooms due to a perceived or real threat. Throughout the school year, it is common for schools in the U.S. and Canada to repeat lock down drills so that students become habituated to a passive response in the face of life threatening danger. Drills can be scary and you might feel threatened, but if you behave properly, you will not get in trouble."

1. If you know anyone who is doing this as a joke, tell a teacher immediately.

2. Lock the door however you can.

3.  continued...

Overheard in the Blogsphere 2

The Downside of Weight Loss

WebMD Sept. 7, 2010 -- There may actually be an unhealthy downside to losing weight.
A new study finds that blood levels of substances known as persistent organic pollutants were higher in people who had lost weight compared to people who maintained or gained weight.

Persistent organic pollutants (POPs) are compounds created by humans in industrial processes and have been linked to a wide range of illnesses, including type 2 diabetes, cancer, dementia, and heart disease. The study appears in the International Journal of Obesity.

Persistent organic pollutants are stored in fat tissues in the body. But when the amount of fat is decreased -- as through weight loss -- they may be released into the bloodstream, where they may enter vital organs, such as the heart and brain.

***

Oh-kaaay!

Overheard in the Blogsphere 1

"REDDING, Calif. -- On Friday July 9, 2010 a marijuana eradication operation was conducted on the Shasta-Trinity National Forest in Trinity County, south of Hayfork. . . . During the raid, a U.S. Forest Service K-9 team located (name withheld to protect this poor "lost" fellow), a displaced foreign traveler from Michoacán Mexico, who had tried to flee the area and hide while officers were performing entry into the marijuana garden." - press release, U.S. Forest Service 

Displaced foreign traveler? 

"Honest, Officer, I was on my way to Cancun, and I just got turned around!"

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"Overheard in the Blogospere" is a new feature I'm adding to Snippets.  Some things out there are just too good to pass up.

And you won't kill me?

First, you give us the wallet...
.

Oh, is that all?

Well, that dress was an unfortunate choice. No offense, I'm just sayin'.

Hold on while I fire up my hovercraft thrusters

Loud speaker announcement from draw-bridge tender to cars stuck in traffic on the bridge: 

The bridge will be going up in one minute!  Please clear the bridge! Clear the bridge!!!

A meeting of the minds?

Wife, standing in front of a painting:  It's so simple, yet so complex. I love the interplay of form, light and color.

Husband:  Yeah, yeah, whatever.

Um, maybe...

Heard in the bleachers at a Boston Red Sox spring training game in Florida:

Where do you think you are? Fenway Pahk?

Gotta love those senior moments

Clerk:  And what is your phone number?

 Elderly customer: ... (long pause)  Oh, boy...

Cooking up some bittersweet chocolate torts?

... and we have one lawyer who is now a baker.

A language barrier?

She:  He is very difficult to understand.

He:  Oh, he is?

She:  Yes, he is very tall.

A sad truth

And when I checked out child care, I realized I couldn't afford to work.

And the rest is history

...so then, I decided to introduce myself to red wine.

Right?

But, see, the main point is, history is the best teacher.