In your dreams, Big Boy.

Sleazy guy at the next table on a first Match.com date: "If we got together, we would have great looking kids." Blech.

Uh-oh...

"We have lift-off on the refrigerator."

And this was in my own house. I think I'm a bit scared...

That bad, huh?

So this woman tells me about her sick neighbor: "It was really terrible. They had to take him out on a guernsey." Sure wish I'd seen that...

Wonder if anyone calls him the space cowboy?

This guy in a restaurant was regaling his friends with a long, complicated story. I couldn't hear any of the story until he got to the last line. Just as he said it, the restaurant went into one of those odd moments when everybody stops talking at once. So we all heard him say:

"...and ever since, people call me Maur-rrr-rice."

Uh-Oh

Man on a cell phone:   "What reason would I have to lie to you?"

Oh, I can think of a few...

I'm sorry.

One woman in the supermarket to another:  "I haven't seen you in 50 years, not since high school. You haven't aged a bit!"

High school must have been really tough.

CNN: Trigger to change co-habitation to marriage...

Sharing a stable with Buttermilk wasn't enough?