tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-54023109598495133942024-03-14T08:23:21.691-04:00Snippets“There's nothing like eavesdropping to show you that the world outside your head is different from the world inside your head.” -- Thornton WilderPattiKenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02894925987580502697noreply@blogger.comBlogger40125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5402310959849513394.post-6576389494228782252015-11-23T20:05:00.000-05:002015-11-23T21:27:48.491-05:00In your dreams, Big Boy.Sleazy guy at the next table on a first Match.com date: "If we got together, we would have great looking kids." Blech.PattiKenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02894925987580502697noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5402310959849513394.post-20963803728783769542012-06-20T22:10:00.003-04:002012-06-20T22:10:41.977-04:00Uh-oh..."We have lift-off on the refrigerator."<br />
<br />
And this was in my own house. I think I'm a bit scared...PattiKenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02894925987580502697noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5402310959849513394.post-65743512440178211832012-05-09T22:24:00.002-04:002012-05-09T22:25:23.609-04:00That bad, huh?So this woman tells me about her sick neighbor: "It was really terrible. They had to take him out on a guernsey."
Sure wish I'd seen that...PattiKenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02894925987580502697noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5402310959849513394.post-12337706981208272052012-03-28T23:52:00.000-04:002012-03-28T23:52:16.115-04:00Wonder if anyone calls him the space cowboy?This guy in a restaurant was regaling his friends with a long, complicated story. I couldn't hear any of the story until he got to the last line. Just as he said it, the restaurant went into one of those odd moments when everybody stops talking at once. So we <i>all</i> heard him say:<br />
<br />
"...and ever since, people call me Mau<i>r-rrr-r</i>ice."PattiKenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02894925987580502697noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5402310959849513394.post-19160899100799809222011-02-02T09:17:00.000-05:002011-02-02T09:17:06.094-05:00Uh-OhMan on a cell phone: "What reason would I have to lie to you?"<br />
<br />
Oh, I can think of a few...PattiKenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02894925987580502697noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5402310959849513394.post-6551862840960262012010-12-17T11:05:00.000-05:002010-12-17T11:05:49.586-05:00I'm sorry.One woman in the supermarket to another: "I haven't seen you in 50 years, not since high school. You haven't aged a bit!"<br />
<br />
High school must have been really tough.PattiKenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02894925987580502697noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5402310959849513394.post-85326923773020933592010-11-18T16:25:00.000-05:002010-11-18T16:25:05.506-05:00CNN: Trigger to change co-habitation to marriage...Sharing a stable with Buttermilk wasn't enough?PattiKenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02894925987580502697noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5402310959849513394.post-86372061984536816792010-11-13T10:24:00.000-05:002010-11-13T10:24:58.051-05:00Halloween, Reinvented?<h6 class="uiStreamMessage" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span class="messageBody">7-Year-old: I hate Halloween. I don't want to do it anymore.</span></span></h6><h6 class="uiStreamMessage" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span class="messageBody">Mom: So no more trick-or-treating?</span></span></h6><h6 class="uiStreamMessage" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span class="messageBody">7-year-old: No. People should come to our house and give us candy.</span></span></h6>PattiKenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02894925987580502697noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5402310959849513394.post-29789118413100456882010-09-15T10:43:00.000-04:002010-09-15T10:43:28.465-04:00Sign of the times? Mohegan Sun Casino is going to lay off 350 workers.PattiKenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02894925987580502697noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5402310959849513394.post-43089759479332882422010-09-10T13:58:00.000-04:002010-09-10T13:58:25.163-04:00Step-by-Step Instructions of HorrorThis one just stuns me with the sadness of it all.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.wikihow.com/Behave-In-a-School-Lock-Down">How to Behave in a School Lockdown</a><br />
<br />
"A school lock down is when students, teachers, and faculty are confined to their rooms due to a perceived or real threat. Throughout the school year, it is common for schools in the U.S. and Canada to repeat lock down drills so that students become habituated to a passive response in the face of life threatening danger. Drills can be scary and you might feel threatened, but if you behave properly, you will not get in trouble."<br />
<br />
1. <span class="whb">If you know anyone who is doing this as a joke, tell a teacher immediately.</span><br />
<br />
<span class="whb">2. Lock the door however you can</span>.<br />
<br />
3. <a href="http://www.wikihow.com/Behave-In-a-School-Lock-Down"> <i>continued... </i></a>PattiKenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02894925987580502697noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5402310959849513394.post-9474347793533120592010-09-08T15:11:00.000-04:002010-09-08T15:11:19.443-04:00Overheard in the Blogsphere 2<h2><span style="font-size: small;">The Downside of Weight Loss</span></h2><div class="clearBoth_fmt"></div><div class="art_thumb"></div>WebMD Sept. 7, 2010 -- There may actually be an unhealthy downside to losing weight.<br />
A new study finds that blood levels of substances known as persistent organic pollutants were higher in people who had lost weight compared to people who maintained or gained weight.<br />
<br />
Persistent organic pollutants (POPs) are compounds created by humans in industrial processes and have been linked to a wide range of illnesses, including type 2 diabetes, cancer, dementia, and heart disease. The study appears in the <i>International Journal of Obesity. </i><br />
<br />
Persistent organic pollutants are stored in fat tissues in the body. But when the amount of fat is decreased -- as through weight loss -- they may be released into the bloodstream, where they may enter vital organs, such as the heart and brain.<br />
<br />
***<br />
<br />
<i>Oh-kaaay!</i>PattiKenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02894925987580502697noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5402310959849513394.post-61864730266080232642010-07-23T16:06:00.000-04:002010-07-23T16:06:07.311-04:00Overheard in the Blogsphere 1"<i>REDDING, Calif. -- </i>On Friday July 9, 2010 a marijuana eradication operation was conducted on the Shasta-Trinity National Forest in Trinity County, south of Hayfork. . . . During the raid, a U.S. Forest Service K-9 team located (<i>name withheld to protect this poor "lost" fellow</i>), a displaced foreign traveler from Michoacán Mexico, who had tried to flee the area and hide while officers were performing entry into the marijuana garden." - press release, U.S. Forest Service <br />
<br />
Displaced foreign traveler? <br />
<br />
"Honest, Officer, I was on my way to Cancun, and I just got turned around!"<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">*********************************</div><br />
<b>"Overheard in the Blogospere" is a new feature I'm adding to <i>Snippets</i>. Some things out there are just too good to pass up.</b>PattiKenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02894925987580502697noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5402310959849513394.post-35121412801929282382010-07-04T13:15:00.004-04:002010-07-04T13:17:02.705-04:00And you won't kill me?First, you give us the wallet...<br />
.PattiKenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02894925987580502697noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5402310959849513394.post-73090286786910723602010-05-23T11:13:00.001-04:002010-05-23T11:14:12.614-04:00Oh, is that all?<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: small;">Well, that dress was an unfortunate choice. No offense, I'm just sayin'.</span>PattiKenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02894925987580502697noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5402310959849513394.post-34947614535884545502010-03-26T16:47:00.000-04:002010-03-26T16:47:25.955-04:00Hold on while I fire up my hovercraft thrusters<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Loud speaker announcement from draw-bridge tender to cars stuck in traffic on the bridge: </div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> The bridge will be going up in one minute! Please clear the bridge! Clear the bridge!!!</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div>PattiKenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02894925987580502697noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5402310959849513394.post-88275671112350094512010-03-14T19:51:00.000-04:002010-03-14T19:51:17.283-04:00A meeting of the minds?Wife, standing in front of a painting: It's so simple, yet so complex. I love the interplay of form, light and color.<br />
<br />
Husband: Yeah, yeah, whatever.PattiKenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02894925987580502697noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5402310959849513394.post-18660153051323401082010-03-10T00:19:00.001-05:002010-03-10T00:19:59.103-05:00Um, maybe...Heard in the bleachers at a Boston Red Sox spring training game in Florida:<br />
<br />
Where do you think you are? Fenway Pahk?PattiKenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02894925987580502697noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5402310959849513394.post-37360200304432126302010-03-01T18:25:00.001-05:002010-03-01T18:25:27.154-05:00Gotta love those senior momentsClerk: And what is your phone number?<br />
<br />
Elderly customer: ... (long pause) Oh, boy...PattiKenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02894925987580502697noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5402310959849513394.post-36392459636622144972010-02-25T18:18:00.000-05:002010-02-25T18:18:09.957-05:00Cooking up some bittersweet chocolate torts?... and we have one lawyer who is now a baker.PattiKenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02894925987580502697noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5402310959849513394.post-80937730402607873342010-02-20T09:18:00.000-05:002010-02-20T09:18:04.027-05:00A language barrier?She: He is very difficult to understand.<br />
<br />
He: Oh, he is?<br />
<br />
She: Yes, he is very tall.PattiKenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02894925987580502697noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5402310959849513394.post-10185669375633097632010-02-18T10:54:00.002-05:002010-02-18T10:54:22.449-05:00A sad truthAnd when I checked out child care, I realized I couldn't afford to work.PattiKenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02894925987580502697noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5402310959849513394.post-28544901971505853092010-01-26T12:35:00.000-05:002010-01-26T12:35:11.480-05:00And the rest is history...so then, I decided to introduce myself to red wine.PattiKenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02894925987580502697noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5402310959849513394.post-35426586687822299632010-01-20T15:06:00.000-05:002010-01-20T15:06:21.165-05:00Right?But, see, the main point is, history is the best teacher.PattiKenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02894925987580502697noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5402310959849513394.post-78244550919566704672009-12-16T00:04:00.002-05:002009-12-16T00:04:55.025-05:00That hard, huh?He fell for her like he was a mob informant and she was the East River.PattiKenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02894925987580502697noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5402310959849513394.post-38984497463533960362009-12-08T11:32:00.001-05:002009-12-10T10:38:55.230-05:00Can you swim?<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Hey, Babe, it's just a shipboard romance. It doesn't mean anything.</span></span>PattiKenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02894925987580502697noreply@blogger.com0